At the end of 2021, I was at a team event in a cozy restaurant when a Tarot reader started circling the tables. I’ve always been a bit drawn to cards, I've got a few oracle and tarot decks of my own, so of course, I had to engage.
“Should I leave Berlin or not?” I asked her.
She smiled and said, “That’s not the kind of question you should ask. It’s too ambiguous for the cards.”
Fair. But she humored me and pulled two paths: one with me staying in Berlin, and one with me leaving.
I’ll share what she said later. You can probably guess the outcome but let’s keep that a secret for now, shall we?
The Berlin Phenomenon
In the 11 years I’ve been living in Berlin, I’ve thought, “my time here is up” at least four times. That’s on average every 2.75 years.
It usually happened at the end of something - a job, a relationship, a version of myself. I’d find myself at a crossroad, thinking:
If I ever want to move, this is my chance.
I’d feel dissatisfied with some part of my life. I’d convince myself that nothing was really holding me in the city.
And yet, each time, something would quietly creep its way back into my life - a person, an opportunity, a shift. And I’d stay.
Over the years, I’ve met so many people here going through the same cycle.
Maybe it happens in other big cities, too. But since I haven’t lived through it anywhere else, I call it: The Berlin Phenomenon.
Berlin is the perfect transient city. People come, and people go - constantly.
It’s a place few people say, “Yes, I see myself growing old here.”
I have never said it too.
What Are We Running From?
At the end of 2021, I was at one of those crossroads again, after a very turbulent year.
I had:
Changed jobs
Moved apartments and started living alone
Begun and ended a relationship
Lost two very important people
By the end of the year, I realised I was grieving. Even though some of the changes were positive, I was holding onto what used to be and struggling to step into the next chapter of my life.
I told myself maybe my Berlin time had run out. It felt like I’d experienced everything I needed to experience. I was bored. I was tired. I was stuck.
The Truth Is…
It is too easy to look outward for the reason of your dissatisfaction:
It’s the job.
It’s the apartment.
It’s this city.
It’s the weather.
It’s the people.
But what if it’s not the place?
What if whatever we’re searching for - wholeness, peace, purpose, adventure - can’t be found just by moving?
What if we are the ones that need to shift in order to welcome those things into our lives?
So, What Did the Tarot Reader Say?
She told me that both paths would lead to the same outcome:
Me, still being miserable.
Leaving Berlin might give me short-term excitement and relief, but I’d still end up in the same emotional turmoil. Same with staying.
And in that moment, I knew I had to try something else.
The Middle Path
I didn’t pack up and leave. But I didn’t stay completely still, either.
Two months later, I found myself working remotely for three weeks in Portugal. My first long solo trip. I always thought Portugal could be a place I’d live in, so I wanted to test it out.
The outcome?
I hated it.
Okay , that’s an exaggeration. I love Portugal. The food. The coastline. The hikes. The sunsets. Exploring every narrow street. Portugal is one of the best places to have a vacation at.
But I missed so many things I had taken for granted in Berlin:
Public transport and the ability to cycle anywhere
Big supermarkets on every corner
English-speaking yoga and training studios
Efficient cafés (and better coffee altogether)
I came back from that “experiment” seeing Berlin with new eyes.
I realized: I love routine and structure just as much as I love novelty and exploration.
And maybe I don’t need to uproot myself entirely to have both.
What Now?
I know my time in Berlin will end someday.
It will be a natural ending, and for the right reasons.
But for now, I love that I get to hold two favorite worlds together:
I get to travel, explore, and reset when I need to
I get to come back to my home, my community, my comfort
There’s nothing quite like coming back to your own apartment, is there?
And with that, my friends, I finally get to kick-off the Remote Rhythms category of my blog.
Not having worked for a few months, it felt a bit strange and hyprocritical to talk about the pros and cons of remote work or share my working-from-anywhere tips.
But recently, I found myself feeling a bit stuck in Berlin again and I was reminded of that Tarot reading. It helped me remember why I call Berlin home and that the next trip is around the corner.
Sometimes, it’s not the place.
Sometimes, it’s just us, needing a pause, a perspective shift, or a rhythm that fits us better.
p.s. Pulled a weekly Tarot card and I just had to share as it struck a chord:
Not sure why I just now saw this post and it's funny as I was begging you today to stay in Berlin... but I like your thinking, the full circle moment and the realisation that even if you move away or go on vacation, your feelings stay with you. I think it's an easy misconception to want to move away from the surroundings that are part of your problems, but the chances of the problems staying in said surroundings are not high. You have to work on yourself in order to change your view.